We’ve all experienced it. You’re checking out at the grocery store, buying a cup of coffee, or completing an online purchase when you’re asked whether you’d like to add a charitable donation. Sometimes you say yes. Other times, you might feel uncomfortable declining, especially when someone is waiting for your answer.
Recent research from Adelaide University, published in the Journal of Retailing and Consumer Services, suggests that these seemingly harmless fundraising requests can have unintended consequences. In a survey of 329 U.S. consumers about a checkout donation scenario, the researchers found that feeling rushed or judged by others was linked to anxiety and a lower willingness to donate. Those same feelings were linked to less satisfaction with the checkout experience, a more negative view of the retailer, and lower intentions to shop there again.
The university’s summary of the research is a quick and worthwhile read, even if your organization does not engage in checkout fundraising. The findings offer an important strategic reminder: even when the cause is worthy, and intentions are good, how someone is asked to give matters. The study looked at retailers’ checkout requests, not nonprofits’ own appeals. Still, the lesson extends beyond the checkout counter. Fundraising is fundamentally about relationships, and every interaction with a donor can strengthen or weaken that connection.
Here are three suggestions from Pottstown Regional Community Foundation (PRCF) for putting relationships first in your fundraising and stewardship activities.
Make giving an invitation, not an obligation
Donors should feel inspired to support your mission, not pressured to respond to a request. Whether you’re making a year-end appeal, following up on a pledge, or inviting someone to participate in a campaign, consider how your communication might be received. Are you giving donors enough information to make a thoughtful decision? Are you respecting their timing and circumstances? Is your message focused on the opportunity to make a difference rather than creating guilt about what might happen if they don’t give? A donor who declines a particular request may still become one of your organization’s most loyal supporters. Protecting that relationship is more important than securing any single contribution.
Remember that stewardship is more than another opportunity to ask.
It’s easy for fundraising communications to become a steady stream of requests, especially during the busy year-end season. But donors also need to hear from your organization when you aren’t asking for money. Share stories about the impact of their generosity, celebrate organizational accomplishments, and provide updates about the people and communities your mission serves. A personal note, a thoughtful conversation, or an invitation to learn more about your work can show donors you value them for more than their financial contributions. These interactions build trust and help donors feel connected to your mission over time.
Pay attention to the donor’s experience
The checkout research underscores the importance of considering how a fundraising request makes someone feel. Apply that same perspective to your own communications. Are donors receiving too many emails? Do your follow-up messages feel helpful or persistent? Are you recognizing their interests and preferences, or treating everyone the same? Consider reviewing your fundraising practices through the eyes of a donor. You might discover opportunities to simplify giving, personalize communications, offer more choices, or create meaningful ways to engage that don’t involve an immediate financial contribution.
Ask thoughtfully, and keep asking
Of course, nonprofits must ask for support. Thoughtful, consistent fundraising is essential to sustaining programs and advancing missions, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with checkout campaigns, year-end appeals, or other strategies that encourage people to give. The key distinction is between inviting someone into a meaningful relationship with your organization and making them feel obligated to complete a transaction.
As you evaluate your fundraising strategies, remember that the most valuable outcome isn’t always the gift you receive today. It’s the trust you build, the connection you strengthen, and the relationship that encourages someone to remain involved with your mission for years to come. Put the relationship first. Fundraising results will be stronger when donors feel respected, informed, and genuinely connected to the difference your organization is making.
